low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
PS: I just woke up from my shower
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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