did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
