Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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