My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
