Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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