i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she looked like the before picture.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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