we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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