Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
