Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
