I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize