brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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