Pants 0. Shit 1.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
