Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
