Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
