I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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