The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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