But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
