so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
barbara walters just said penis...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
