We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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