I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
