I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
