I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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