Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
