i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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