No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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