he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
