well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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