Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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