You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
