One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize