I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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