Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize