The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
you never un-have a 4some
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
