I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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