I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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