I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I intend to get homeless drunk
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
