i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
