He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
