i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The air was thick with penises
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
