Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I puked a lego.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize