shes about as inviting as chlamydia
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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