that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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