hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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