im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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