Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
