it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
