remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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