Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
