She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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