do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
