you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
