im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
