i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
