I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You pole danced in your parka.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
