Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
