Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
