Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
