she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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