Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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