I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just gargled with NyQuil
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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